Week 11

Well it was a very small gain this week so I am not worried about it.  I saw the doctor on Thursday and he diagnosed me with Fibromyalgia. I haven't really been able to exercise because I am in so much pain that its hard for me to even do the dad to day chores sometimes.  He put me on some pills and I am hoping that once they are in my system better that I wont hurt as much.  If these don't work them he will put me on something else.  The Dr did say that even if the medication does help it will normally only improve me by 30%.  I am thankful that since I have started taking the medication I have not gotten a migraine or a tension headache.  I don't know if its a fluke or if it is helping with those but I will take it for now.  I can normally push through the pain, its the migraines that I can't. I have joined an online support group and they have been wonderful support so far.  To hear how other people are coping and to see how far they have come really helps.  Please pray that the medication does work and I don't have to go on many more to find one that does work.  Thanks!

Weeks 1-6          -9.0lbs
Week 7             +1.0lbs
Week 8             +2.6lbs
Week 9              0.0lbs
Week 10            -4.2lbs
Week 11                         +0.8lbs


Total              -8.8lbs

Week 7-10 (Catching Up)

I didn't mean to fall behind with blogging, but I guess it happens.  I have had some ups and downs while I was away.  The important thing is I feel like I am back on track.  I realize that there will be ups and downs but I just have to work through them and not to give up.  Its not an easy road, but it can be done.  I haven't worked out as much an I would like to; with my body hurting the way it has been, I have no motivation to work out.  Thankfully I see the doctor this Thursday so hopefully I will get answers and can get on better medication than just pain pills because I don't want to have to be on pain pills the rest of my life.  John and I took our first vacation in a long time, it was nice to get away from the "real world" and relax and enjoy camping and seeing family we haven't seen in a while.  That being said, camping did not help with my diet and it took me a couple weeks to get it off but I did.  I will let the numbers speak for themselves.

Weeks 1-6          -9.0lbs
Week 7              +1.0lbs
Week 8              +2.6lbs
Week 9                0.0lbs
Week 10            -4.2lbs

Total                   -9.6lbs

I am almost at the 10lbs loss marker again, I know I will get there it is just going to take determination. I bought some cookies from the bakery, but my plan is to freeze some of the them and just eat them as a treat.

I will try to update more often, but can't promise anything.  Thanks for everyone's support.

Week 6

It was a good week! I didn't meet my goal of walking 10min everyday.  I tried it on a day that I was feeling pretty good and it brought the pain on, so I just walked once, because I wasn't going to walk on bad days.  So I decided to try and move more and build my way to up walking.  I also watched what I ate really well, I tried to stay within the points of the day, and once I started to feel comfortable I would stop eating.  My goals for this week is to keep tracking what I eat, to eat slower (because eating not a race) and to move more so that way when I do start walking my body maybe wont hurt as bad.

Week 1          -1.4lbs
Week 2          -2.0lbs              
Week 3          -3.4lbs
Week 4          -1.6lbs
Week 5          +1.4lbs
Week 6          -2.0lbs

Total               9.0lbs                  

Week 5

Well its bad news...I gained weight this past week.  The doctor put me on pain pills last week and it seemed to take a while for them to work, so this week when I take them I can tell a difference, and by that I am hoping to be able to walk at least on the treadmill for a few minutes each day.  I would walk outside but I don't want to get to far and not be able to make it back.  So I am going to try 10-15 min each day on the treadmill.  That is my goal for this week.  Also last week I had trouble tracking food, its a habit that I need to get into again.  But I will do it, and I will succeed.  The doctor doesn't think its arthritis anymore because all of the other pills that I have been on should have helped with the pain.  He mentioned on the phone that its probably a chronic pain problem such as Fibromyalgia.  I have not been officially diagnosed with it yet as I don't see him until August, but I am glad that at least the pain pills are helping.  Mornings are difficult and nights are difficult, so I am going to try walking in the afternoon and see how it goes.  I don't expect to loose every week, but it is a bummer when I gain weight.  I just have to remember that even if I gain weight not to stop.

Week 1           -1.4lbs
Week 2           -2.0lbs
Week 3           -3.4lbs
Week 4           -1.6lbs
Week 5           +1.4lbs
     
Total             8.4lbs 7.0lbs

Week 4

This week was a little more difficult because of some things that were said to me, it got me down a little.  I am not going to let that person influence what I know I can do.  Its still a struggle everyday because of the pain that I am in and none of the medications that the doctor has prescribed has helped me.  I would love to have some relief from the pain that I am feeling.  I would love to be able to go out and walk and not have to worry if I am going to make it back to the house or not.  I do have a treadmill but something about walking outside during the summer just encourages me, instead of being stuck inside.  Its just frustrating when you want to do something but you can't   Its hard when there is no answers to why I am in pain.  I can't complain to much because I still did lose weight, but I know eventually it will stop and then I will have to figure something out.  I am going to be putting in a phone call to the doctor today to tell him that the fourth medication is not working and see where we go from there.  I get so frustrated because I want to do things but my body just wont allow it.  By the end of the day I am so exhausted that I can barely keep my eyes open.    Anyways, I just pray that the pain will be taken away and I can function again.

Week 1           -1.4lbs
Week 2           -2.0lbs
Week 3           -3.4lbs
Week 4           -1.6lbs

Total                  8.4lbs!!!

It is something to celebrate losing that much in 4 weeks, I am proud of myself for that.

Week 3

When I started WW I didn't think I was going to like the new plan, but so far I love it.  I think by loving it, it has helped me out so far with continuing to lose weight.  It also helps out that I have a lot of people coming up to me and telling me what a great job I am doing and just supporting me through this.  Without support I don't think anyone can do it on their own. I know if I didn't have people that I had to to text and let them know how much I have lost, then I probably wouldn't push myself to do it.  I am not saying that I wouldn't still do it, but it would be more difficult to do it alone.

Well...I lost again, and this time I made it to my first 5lb star!

Week 1                 -1.4lbs
Week 2                 -2.0lbs
Week 3                 -3.4lbs

Total lost.....6.8lbs!!!

It feels good to lose the weight, its like shedding what I have been through in the last year and half.  I know there will be days that suck, but I just have to remind myself that I can do it.

Week 2

I had an awesome weekend, it was my 29th birthday and we had just a small group of family members over to celebrate.  I was not able to work out this past week, my body just does not want to cooperate with me.  I think this week though I might just try and push myself to work out even if my body says no.  I wont over do it though.  If I can try and walk a mile a day or every other day then maybe my joints might start to feel better.  I did lose weight this week, but I know without working out it will eventually stop.  The doctor is trying everything to figure out why my body is hurting.  This is the third set of pills I am on to see if that will help my joints.  He thinks I have some type of arthritis but doesn't know what yet.  One we can rule out is rheumatoid at least.    Its hard to tell if is the joints that are hurting or if it is the tendons and ligaments around them that are hurting.  I pray that we can figure it out so that way I wont get discourage.

Last weeks total                  1.4lbs
Week 2                             -2.0lbs
Total                                   3.4lbs

Thanks for all the encouragement that everyone is giving me. Its easier knowing that I have support. 

Week 1

Things are going well.  This weekend was really busy because Johns family was all in town for the weekend, except his older brother and his family, but we had a really nice time.  So what does one do when there is family in town? Eat, that's right.  I tried my best to watch and track what I ate, but when someone else is doing all of the cooking its hard to figure out points.  With all that said though, I am proud of myself because I still ended up loosing.  Seeing the first negative number is always fun, but I have many more to go, but I know if I keep tracking and eating the fruit and veggies that I like to eat, then I know I can do it.  I also know I can do it because I have all of my family and friends backing me.

This week so far has been difficult, not with the eating and tracking, but with the work outs.  I have started to see an arthritis doctor because my hands have been hurting really bad and also other joints in my body.  Well the one non steroidal medication they put me on caused me to have sore throats.  I found that out by going off from them and my throat was fine, but knees were not.  It got to the point where I could barely walk down stairs because my knees just don't want to bend and flex.  So I started taking them again, and my knees have gotten better, but my throat hurts again.  I guess its a good thing I have a dr. app. tomorrow with him.  So, how do I work out when my body is against me? I haven't figured that out yet. I am hoping my Dr. will have some advice because WW wants me to have 14 activity pts a week, and I can't get that in when my body wont cooperate with me.  

Week 1               -1.4lbs

Total                     1.4lbs

Its a journey, but I am looking forward to it.

Starting over...

Starting over….

It’s been almost a year and a half since my mom passed away and I started my downward spiral into eating unhealthy and at times too much; well who am I kidding by saying “at times”.  I turned to food because I could no longer have my mom.  I did that growing up too, the more sick she became, the more I ate.  I used food for comfort that I could not get from my mom.  It started all over the day that she passed.  I was on Weight Watchers for 14 months and had lost almost 73lbs.  The day that she died I walked away from it.  I went back to the one thing I told myself that I never needed to do again.  When I started weight watchers before we had just put my mom into the nursing home and I finally felt like I could focus on myself.  I didn’t need to worry about her because she was getting the care that she needed.  I was at a good place in life, a good mindset.  It’s amazing how in an instance things can change.  I was lost without her; I didn’t know how I was going to make it through.  I started the downward spiral and pretending I was ok.  I prayed that I had fooled people, but I didn’t.  It didn’t work, I could see the concern on people’s faces; not sure what to say to me or how to make me feel better.  I who love working with kids; couldn’t even find the enjoyment in that.  I felt like I was a hypocrite, teaching Sunday school telling the kids that God loves everyone, but wasn’t quite sure I believed it.  I know I needed help, so I asked a very close person to me for a reference for a counselor.  I gave the counselor the call and she said that she would see me. 

I never wanted to see a counselor because I thought you had to be “crazy” to see one.  Well I was crazy, I needed the help, and I needed to find God again.  I was happy she believed in God, she helped me see that even though I had a lot of anger towards God, he never stopped loving for me.  He never stopped walking beside me and holding me.  At one point she had me pretend that God was sitting in a chair across from me and she told me to tell Him just exactly how I felt.  After I yelled and cried and bared my soul to Him she had me go into praying and ask Him for forgiveness for yelling at Him.  She said that God could take anything I had to throw at Him, and no matter what He still loved me.  He forgave me, He understood how I was feeling and I believe that I became closer to Him.  I felt like I didn’t need to hide from him anymore (it’s not like I could hide from Him anyway), but I knew that no matter what I told Him, He still loved me!  He sent His son to die for me, for me; a girl who fought with Him, who sinned against Him, who yelled at Him.  Yet He still sent His son to the cross for ME! There are times where Satan still tries to pull on my ropes and pokes me into trying to believe that God doesn’t love me, but I am not fooled.  I know that war will always go on, but I know God has my back.  I know it was meant for me to see her because she told me one session that I was the last client that she was taking on for the summer and that she had a big waiting list for people to see her.  I believe God wanted me to be there at that time to get the help I needed, and she was the only one that could do it.  Otherwise if she has so many other clients that wanted to see her, why would she have chosen me?

With all of this being said, I have picked back up Weight Watchers.  I am not so keen on the new program, but I am willing to give it a try.  I have gained all the weight that I lost plus some.  I am disappointed in myself for letting it happen, but when your mind isn’t in the right spot it’s hard to focus on what needs to be done.  I know I had all of you to support me before, and I know I have all of you to support me again.  Please pray for me daily as this is not going to be easy, but I know with God, family, and friends on my side it is possible.